Think about your past actions and the people affected by them. This list might include family, friends, coworkers, or even yourself. This involves reaching out to the person you’ve harmed, face-to-face what is Oxford House if possible, and having an honest conversation. You acknowledge what you did, express genuine remorse, and ask for a way to make things right. That is just one small example of what are living amends.
You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:
But by prioritizing your recovery on a daily basis and doing whatever that next right thing might be for you, you will keep moving forward in living a life of good purpose. We are seeking accountability for our own actions and holding ourselves to the standards of our own values and our 12 Step program. Again, in recovery, your words may not mean as much to some people as living amends you wish they would.
Table of Contents
- They think a person will choose them over the usual, direct route to avoid the shame or embarrassment of saying sorry.
- An apology is simply saying, “I’m sorry,” while making amends involves taking responsibility and actively working to repair the harm caused.
- By acknowledging the impact of their actions, individuals can better understand the broader consequences of alcohol misuse, especially in light of evolving binge drinking trends across age groups.
- I cannot begin to express what your help has done for me, even just a month in.
- That’s when the recovering alcoholic reaches out to people they’ve hurt before getting sober in an attempt to make things right.
- Steps 8 and 9 of Alcoholics Anonymous involve listing those harmed and making direct amends to such people wherever possible, unless doing so would cause further harm.
So, don’t feel bad if you have to deal with more living amends later. Sometimes, living amends get a bad rap because people see it as a cop-out. https://ecosoberhouse.com/ They think a person will choose them over the usual, direct route to avoid the shame or embarrassment of saying sorry. For the next sections, we’ll focus mainly on the first take on living amends (replacing direct amends in certain situations). People get tired of broken promises, of forgiving over and over and giving second and third, fourth, or fifth chances only to get hurt again.
- With gratitude from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank the team at Living Amends.
- We believe everyone deserves access to accurate, unbiased information about mental health and recovery.
- Unlike mere apologies, which are just words, amends involve actions that align with one’s intentions and personal values, illustrating a commitment to change and personal growth.
- Going by this take, you can think of living amends as a replacement for direct amends in step nine.
Navigating Step Nine: Living Amends
While the process can be challenging, it’s also deeply rewarding. Making amends helps to repair relationships, reduce feelings of guilt, and strengthen your commitment to sobriety. It’s a crucial part of long-term recovery and a key tool for relapse prevention. For example, if you hurt a loved one through dishonesty, living amends means choosing to live a life of honesty and integrity moving forward. Your actions become proof of your growth, even if the relationship can’t be fully restored.
There are situations where making an amend might cause more harm than good. Assess whether making amends might cause additional harm to the other person involved. For example, contacting someone you’ve harmed may exacerbate their distress, especially in severe cases like drunk driving.
